


And they were roommates

by eg03



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College Roommates, F/F, M/M, This was a birthday present for a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-26 22:17:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20034808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eg03/pseuds/eg03
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale are college-aged college freshmen and they're paired as roommates. They're both nonbinary in this (Crowley juggles pronouns, Aziraphale switches between he and they). Anathema is Crowley's long-time friend and she also falls for her roommate.





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Newt!!!!!!!

All things considered, the home lives of Crowley and Aziraphale were remarkably similar beneath the surface. Both were suffocated by being the odd-one-out who didn’t live up to expectations. Both families were large. Both families were irritating beyond words. But that is not the object of this story. This story is about the lives of Crowley and Aziraphale after they leave their respective homes and families. In a remarkable coincidence, both of them were accepted and admitted into the same college. Even more remarkably, they were assigned to each other as roommates. Of course, neither of them knew this, of course, not even being aware of the other’s existence-- despite living one town over from each other their entire lives.

What they did know is that the plane, their ticket out of their familial hell, was leaving in 15 minutes. Aziraphale had already happily boarded 20 minutes prior, giving him plenty of time to get comfortable in his first-class seat. Crowley, however, was running late. He and his high school friend, Anathema-- also accepted to the same college-- barely managed to board the plane before the doors closed behind them. The pair were, of course, riding coach, as any sensible college student would. 

The flight was long and dull, but they had the happy luck of catching a cab the moment they left the airport, not to mention Crowley had already bought and arranged to pick up a car nearby. Aziraphale, however, found that their wallet was completely empty of cash. How this happened he ‘had no idea’… really they ‘had no clue.’ He hadn’t spent ‘that much.’ But the world is unforgiving of mishaps, and their only choice was to rent a bike and hull his luggage on his back to the campus. As they dove down winding streets, heaving tons of luggage, they knew, deep down, they had never in all their years ever looked more foolish.

Crowley and Anathema, of course, arrived well before Aziraphale. For them the trip was a short, air-conditioned twenty minutes. Anathema suggested that they go see their rooms first and “scope out how exactly miserable the next couple of semesters was going to be.” Crowley absently agreed, his mind yearning to be drinking a cold glass of red wine on a beach in Greece.  
They went to his dorm first. After surviving the welcoming mob crowd to ask where the dormitories were, they managed to climb their way up to the room. Inside it was barrenWhite walls, wood paneled floor, a single window, two bare twin mattresses with nightstands next to them, two small closets, and two small desks on opposite walls. Anathema optimistically pointed out that at least there was a small bathroom near the entrance, complete with a shower that barely offered room to turn around. Crowley could only reply with a strained smile. With no other person in sight, Crowley took the liberty of throwing his luggage on the right bed before he turned and instructed his friend to lead the way. The two left the room and rounded the corner, and just as they did so, Aziraphale happened to enter through the elevator. They made their way to the room just as Crowley strolled away.

That had probably been the worst 40 minutes of Aziraphale’s life. The only small mercy was that, upon arriving, he wasn’t subjected to the eternal and torturous welcome initiation crowd. Rather, the first person he approached was so concerned that he was experiencing some kind of medical emergency, she immediately escorted them to their dorm building. As quickly as they could (which was not very quick at all), they took the lift up to their floor and heaved their luggage through the hallway and through the door before finally hauling it onto the one empty bed in the room. They immediately collapsed next to the pile and allowed themself to catch their breath. After some amount of time, they sat back up, muscles aching,and began assessing their new home. The bed across from him also had a heap of bags and suitcases on it, albeit smaller than his own. The space was small, especially compared to what they were used to, but not as small as most college dorms are. Deeply off put by the barrenness of the space, Aziraphale immediately began unpacking his luggage. 

The thing about Aziraphale, is that they are not the most sensible person. They are incredibly intelligent and book smart, but the same can not be said of their wisdom. So it follows that, when packing for college, Aziraphale didn’t pack the most sensible things that they could have. The first bag they cracked open was the largest of three. In it was nothing but assorted decorations and knick-knacks. Some examples being the Spice Girls poster (hung above their bed), a taxidermy… rodent? bird? no one but them knows (this on their desk), and a beige bed set paired with a white comforter that reads ‘live laugh love’. By the time the bag was empty their half of the room was unbelievably crowded (but in that cozy sort of way) and illuminated almost etherally by fairy lights. Their bed was more pillow than mattress and spare blankets lay everywhere you could possibly put one. The only thing that crossed the halfway divide in the room was a doormat which read ‘home is where the wine is’. According to the antique (and frankly ugly) clock now on their bedside, they had spent nearly an hour decorating. And they still had yet to put away their clothes. This is what I mean by Aziraphale not being the most sensible.

Crowley, on the other hand…. well, Crowley is just about as sensible as Aziraphale, but the only person (besides Anathema) who truly suffers from it is himself. While Aziraphale was transforming his room, Crowley was watching Anathema meet her new roommate. The moment the two friends walked in Anathema’s mind was thrust into a flustered haze as she gazed at the beautiful woman before her. Anathema ultimately made the first introduction after a long awkward silence, during which Crowley stared at her smugly, proving the strange girl to be more shy than she would’ve hoped.  
“Hi I’m Ganathema.” A rip of terror in her stomach, “Anathema, I’m Anathema. Not Ganathema, what kind of name is that… Nice to.. meet you.” Crowley was loving this. The woman smiled faintly and held up her hand, face red, “Anaise” Anathema instantly beamed.  
“Anathema here only goes by Ganathema when she’s feeling a bit gayer than usual, you see. I’m Crowley, by the way” He held out his hand to shake but Anathema hit it down and tried to discreetly kick him in the shin. She succeeded in the kick, but not the discrete, as Crowley cried out and started hopping on one foot around the room. He paused to wink at Anaise before Anathema grabbed his arm and said “So sorry we uh… have to…. there’s… bye” while pulling him out of the door.  
“You are the worst! I should curse you. I really might. Don’t be surprised if you cough up a toad.”  
“Oh, please, like you wouldn’t do something just as funny.”  
“That wasn’t even funny. Am I laughing?”  
“In essence”  
“Feel this in essence.”  
“OW!”  
“OW, hey! That was my favorite hair tie!”  
“Whatever. Let’s get some food.” And they did. It was fine, nothing to write home about, but Wendy’s is Wendy’s.  
When Crowley did eventually go back to his dorm, it was at the same time Aziraphale was leaving to buy their textbooks. They happened to bump into each other in the hall as they passed.  
“Oh, dear, so sorry!” Aziraphale chirped, steadying the stranger who had almost fallen.  
“It’s fine.” The way Crowley grumbled it made it seem not fine, Aziraphale did not notice this.  
“I’m Aziraphale, it’s lovely to meet you. I’ve just arrived today.”  
“Look, that’s great, Az… fell, but I’m kind of in a hurry.” This time Aziraphale noticed it. They made a slight disapproving face and took a step back.  
“Well I’d hate to keep you.” But Crowley had already started walking away. Aziraphale moved on with a slightly sour taste in their mouth.

Crowley, and you would not expect this by merely looking at her, but Crowley is not a materialistic person. Fashion-wise he puts the glam in glamour, but their room has always looked one step away from being part of a mental hospital. If it weren’t for the countless plants that she always ends up getting, you would think it was an unfinished ikea display. This is why Crowley, even with as impeccable a taste as his, has such a small amount of luggage. One large duffel bag for clothes. A bag of assorted items every living space needs. And a bag of bed sheets, pillows, and the such. 

This is also why, as Crowley stepped into the room, he let out the most desperate, hopeless, and despairing groan you could imagine. “I’ve been roomed with Martha Stewart’s wet dream.” Is all he could say, or think, as she examined the previously-bare and beautiful room. The encroaching state of clutter distracted him just enough to slow the progress of unpacking, which, in the end, took nearly 40 minutes. That’s quite a long time considering the only things Crowley had to set up was the closet (⅔ empty), the dresser (only one and a half drawers filled), her bed (black egyptian silk sheets and pillowcases and a black blanket with an underside of soft dark red fur), and the chargers for their phone and laptop. He brought no other decorative items. Not if you count a toilet plunger, carpet spray, and towels as decor. The end result was a shockingly contrasted room, almost cartoonish in appearance. This made Crowley loathe his faceless roommate all the more. She barely had a moment to reflect on this, though, before the door opened and in stepped..

“Was I roomed with a maniac?” was all that Aziraphale could think. But, they were nothing if not kind. Kind of. They stepped out of the doorway, closing the door, and tried to fake a smile.  
“Oh!” Aziraphale finally managed to make out the face of the silhouette.  
“..Oh.” It was that rude stranger they’d run into before. His manners seem to have stayed just as horrid as before as he sighed and ran a hand over his face. They immediately adopted a look of critical disapproval. “Hello again. Sorry for my abrupt entrance. I’m glad to see you’ve… made yourself at home. I’m Aziraphale. Or, well, you already knew that, I suppose.” They shifted the bag they were holding to their left hand and held out their right to Crowley. Crowley, on the other hand, further dejected by the appearance of the chatty, clumsy stranger, just sort of grunted “Crowley” while looking at their outstretched hand and turned to sit on the bed.  
“Yes, well…” Aziraphale awkwardly pulled back their hand. “Wait a moment, you’re english?” Crowley raised one striking red eyebrow and managed to look the most scathing Aziraphale had ever seen anyone be. “What a coincidence, them… putting two foreigners in the same room. Heh.” Crowley made a sort of ‘Yeah, I guess’ face. Aziraphale stood still a moment contemplating their options before setting their bags on the bed and pulling out their NOKIA to text a “made it safe!” to their older brother. It was more of a distraction than anything else.  
“Is that a NOKIA phone?” Crowley couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he leaned forward. He wasn’t not making fun, she was just truly baffled that anyone even could own a phone that old. Aziraphale interpreted it as mocking, though, (who wouldn’t?) and quickly put it back in their pocket.  
“Yes it is. I’ll have you know they’re sturdier than anything else on the market today.”  
“I’m sure.” They look at each other for a moment before he leans back against the wall. Aziraphale is talkative. He is also very socially awkward. These do not mix well. That’s why, instead of letting a painfully uncomfortable conversation die, he continued to talk.  
“So, how was your trip in? I took a plane. Well, of course, we both must’ve taken planes. Can’t swim across the sea.” And he forced an even more awkward chuckle.  
“Plane then Uber. The plane ride was awful, though. Smooshed in between a four year old and a ninety-four year old. Drool on both sides. Smells on both sides. And the brat behind me wouldn’t stop kicking my seat either, AND I lost my headphones.”  
“Sorry to hear that. The plane was lovely for my part, I flew first class. I happened to lose all my pocket cash, though, so I had to… uhm... ride a bike. From the airport, I mean.” Crowley stares wide eyed at Aziraphale, not even trying to hide his amusement. His long red hair practically bounced with excitement.  
“How did you lose All your money? What about... cards?”  
“Oh, I don’t use credit cards. And I really don’t know where it could’ve gone. I didn’t use, really, any of it. Except for a few snacks before the airport. And there was a homeless man I saw. And some beautiful souvenirs in the airport shop. Oh and I saw this lovely book on prophecies I had to buy. But other than that it really makes no sense.”  
“Lost it indeed! You must’ve dropped it right into a cash register!” The look on Crowley’s face was indiscernible. It wasn’t only accusatory, though it was a little bit, and it wasn’t only amused, though it was mostly. There was something else in his smile, too. Aziraphale looked scandalized, but they weren’t upset. Somehow they felt that Crowley wasn’t being totally cruel. Determined not to have a totally embarrassing conversation (remember what I told you about Aziraphale and sensible?), Aziraphale switched topics again.  
“Well, I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you earlier, I was out getting my textbooks. The line was a real dog, though, so I didn’t end up getting them today.”  
“Then what’s in those bags?”  
“Oh just some light reading I thought I’d pick up.” Each book was at least three inches thick. There were five in total.  
“Right… Well, why don’t you just… euhh you know. Download the textbooks?”  
“I’m sorry?”  
“They’re probably all online for free if you look in the right places. Especially if they’re popular.”  
“I beg your pardon!”  
“What?”  
“Are you actually suggesting that I…” his voice morphed into a whisper-yell, “pirate my textbooks? What about the authors?”  
Crowley waved him off “Ohhh, they’re fine! They’re all rich academics overcharging books to make an extra penny.” Crowley leaned forward and scooched to the end of her bed. “You know- honestly, really, you’d be doing the better thing by pirating, ya know they're the euhh problem with education, financial barriers and all that. Save some money too. I printed mine out before I left.” Aziraphale looked at him disapprovingly, but also with faint curiosity. There stomach turned a little at his tone.  
“I’ve plenty of money. I don’t need to resort to thievery.”  
“Suit yourself.”  
“I intend to.”  
“Great.”  
“It is, actually.” Crowley looked at them and then walked over to the bathroom to get ready for bed.  
The both of them realized, at the exact same time, but completely independently, that their roommate was the most peculiar person each had ever met. Crowley reflected on the idea tiredly, but with a strange fondness in his chest. Aziraphale reflected on it worriedly, considering what that meant for the next year.


	2. One Month Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been about a month since they arrived

It had been one month since Crowley, Aziraphale, and Anathema arrived. Each with their own major, their own workloads, their own schedules. Anathema had immediately picked up at job at the campus library as a page. Remarkably she was the only student working here. The rest of the staff consisted of two elderly women. There was only one regular at the library that didn’t only come to study (though that’s still mostly all they did). That person was Aziraphale. Seeking periodic respites from their loud, wild, and tempting roommate, they found that the library was a safe haven. On one random day, it doesn’t really matter which, one of the librarians introduced herself to Aziraphale.

“Hello, deary. I notice you’re reading ‘The Picture of Dorian Grey.’ An excellent novel. One of my favorites.”

“Oh, yes. Wilde is a brilliant author. This is actually my third time reading this.”

“Well, you have excellent taste. I’m Mrs. Saph, by the way.”

“Aziraphale.”

“Well, Aziraphale,” she chuckled a bit at her rhyme, “I was wondering if you’d want to fill out an application. We’re somewhat understaffed at the moment but you seem like you’d fit in perfectly. I know this is a bit unorthodox but, well, that’s never stopped me before.”  
Aziraphale was silent for a moment, unsure if they had the time for a job, but ultimately, “I’d be delighted!”

“Great here it is. Not our usual form, I made some adjustments.” Mrs. Saph Slid a piece of paper that simply read: ‘Do you like books? Do you know the dewey decimal system?’ Aziraphale blinked at it.

“Yes. On both counts. … Is that it?” 

“Yup! You can start tomorrow. Or whenever works best for you.”

“Tomorrow is perfect!” 

“Great! Oh, here she is now.” A young woman with long brown hair and an air of confident reservedness was walking down the aisle with a cart of books a few rows away from them. 

“That’s Anathema, she is the only other student who works here.” 

“Oh, she seems very mysterious.” 

“Oh, yes.” The two wrapped up their conversation, and before Aziraphale left, they went up to the aforementioned young woman to introduce themself.

“Anathema?” The woman looked up, slightly confused. “Yes, hello, hi… I just thought I’d introduce myself. I’m Aziraphale, I just started working here. Or I will start.”

“Oh! Hi. I’m.. well, you know.”

“Yes, indeed…”

“Right…”

“Well, it was lovely to meet you.” And, because they do have some sense of social cues, they left.

“You too?” Anathema said to the retreating, now out of earshot, stranger.

\--

“...and then he just leaves! It was totally bizarre.” Anathema was speaking through a mouth full of half chewed chicken nuggets.

“Yes… The new weirdo coworker is a great development but I notice you have been suspiciously silent on other topics. Namely, you know, your girlfriend.”

“Shut up. She’s not my girlfriend. And anyway… shut up.” Crowley began snickering, looking at Anathema with that look only good friends wear when teasing the other.

“Right, and I’m cis! You- you,” and he indicated exactly who you was with his finger, “are absolutely smitten. Just ask her out, you’re so confident. Do you remember that time you asked out that bird after you had just spilled mac and cheese all over yourself and were wiping it off in the bathroom… with your shirt off.” 

“I don’t know… maybe it’s different ‘cause we like, live together. Can you imagine how awkward it would be if we broke up?”

“Is so very you to assume she wouldn’t just reject you.”

“Oh, well, yeah, that too!”

“I mean it’s up to you but-“

“She’s so amazing and beautiful and, like, fucking ethereal. And smart, you know she majors in engineering? I couldn’t live with a fucking goddess after breaking up. Or being, you know, rejected.”

“Poor Anathema.”

“What about your roommate? The stuck up one.”

“Oi! They’re not that stuck up…” Anathema looked at them quizzically for a moment, “Well, I mean, eeugh yeah, yeah, of course they are. Yeah. I just… you know was thinking like… they’re all cluttered and clumsy, not alexactly your stereotype for stuck up.”

“You know what? You’re right, you’re definitely the stuck up one.”

“OI!”  
\--  
When the two parted ways each returned to a very similar scene in their respective dorm rooms. Anathema walked in to see Anaise passed out over her homework, one hand hanging over the desk while the other was flung over her head. Despite her internal effort, Anathema couldn’t help the squeeze of her hart or the blush in her cheeks at seeing the small bit of drool coming from her mouth. Anathema laos a blanket over the sleeping girl and carefully rearranged her hands into a more comfortable position.

Crowley also returned to an equally… stirring situation. Aziraphale had, god only knows how, managed to spill a cup of koolaid (they don’t keep any in the room) on the carpet AND knocked half of the papers, knick-knacks, and utensils off their desk at the same time. Crowley’s stomach dropped as her heart jumped when she walked in to see Aziraphale laying on the floor trying to rub the koolaid stain out of the floor with tissues. TISSUES. 

“What the fuck happened?”

“Oh! Hello, Crowley. So sorry for the mess.” They barely glanced up from their futile task, and Crowley was overcome with pity.

“Let me help you.” She began to gather a few supplies to clear up the stain and walked over to the scene of the crime.

“Oh, you really don’t have to…”

“Nonsense, I’m a wizard with stains.” He knelt next to Aziraphale and began working at the spot with a concoction of his own design. The results were already showing. Aziraphale looked up to his face, fully concentrated and blushed (from the work, they were sure). Crowley was looking at the same spot with determination. They were so close that their legs were pressed together and elbows continually bumped. When Crowley accidentally brushed over Aziraphale’s hand, which they had not moved since Crowley came over, they both held their breath for a moment. Crowley knew, in the back of his mind, that it meant nothing to Aziraphale. And shouldn’t mean anything to him. Or didn’t, it didn’t mean anything to her, either. Aziraphale, though, didn’t notice their own or Crowley’s pause, and after a second the moment had passed and they stood up to begin cleaning up the clutter. Crowley went back to work at the stain. After a minute she switched over to helping Aziraphale clean up the debris. 

The brushing hands happened a few more times but they managed to ignore it. When they finished Aziraphale tossed a small, pleased smirk at Crowley before sitting back down at their desk, and Crowley’s mind short circuited for a moment. She stood frozen in place grinning at the ground before the sound of Aziraphale opening a binder drew him from his haze. That night they both were up staring at the ceiling. They listened to each other’s breath and wondered why it was so easy to synch up, like they were both making an effort. Crowley thought of Aziraphale’s smile, Aziraphale thought of Crowley’s hand, so kindly cleaning his mess. Without a second thought or expectation of praise. They fell asleep happy. And deeply concerned for a bit, but right before falling off, when shame and anxiety are emotions to tiring to bother with, they only felt happy.


	3. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hehe..

Life has a habit of pushing on without any consideration for others. There’s no time to ponder your feelings when you have midterms in two weeks. Feelings don’t like that. People don’t like feelings because of that.

Despite the strange first impression. Anathema and Aziraphale got on remarkably well once they found common ground. Anathema even found that her coworker seemed very familiar in a strange sort of way, like she knew a lot about them before they said it. Aziraphale did not feel this way, but they thoroughly enjoyed Anathemas company. 

They were having a conversation about a plentitude of subjects. At the present moment, they found themselves on the subject of Anaise. 

“She’s great. She’s…. really, really great. It’s just, I can’t risk living with an ex.”

“Oh, my dear girl. From what little I’ve learned about you, this sounds so out of character. You shouldnt be afraid, shed be a fool not to adore you.

“You sound like my best friend. They’ve been pestering me nonstop about it. Then they have the nerve to go and complain about their roommate constantly as if their crush isn’t blaringly obvious.”

“If only I had roommates as lovely as the both of yours. Mines a nightmare. Always swearing and talking about… things. They have no sense of decoration, either. I thought I was roomed with a serial killer at first!”

“Aziraphale, I swear constantly.”

“Yes, but you don’t have a weasley way of getting me to swear. Anyway, it’s just.. different. Just looking at them... irritates me.”

“god you sound just like him. Look at that blush. You know I think you’d actually hit it off quite well with my friend.” It was then that Anathema realized… Aziraphale and Crowley… Were exactly alike. That’s why they seemed so familiar, she’d been best friends with their kindred spirit for years. “Your… aesthetics are different but you both have the same vibes.” She snorted. Aziraphale didn’t catch the joke.

“I beg your pardon! I do not… I am not… blushing. Even if I am it’s from… from… from anger! Pure indignation. I assure you I do not ... fancy my roommate.” Anathema put on her best Crowley impression, then:

“‘Martha Stewart would cream her fucking pants at the sight of their half, I swear. Their hair is too nice, like it glows.. Who’s hair glows? Their stupid smile… why are you happy? There’s no reason for it. They act so high and mighty but really they’re a right bastard.’ “

“That last one is just an insult.”

“Not for them. They've always had a thing for ‘right bastards’...There was Luci, for one.”

“I see. I suppose our situations are quite similar, but I do not… I am not… partial to my roommate.”

“Right.”

“Right!”

“You know you might actually hit it off with my friend.” Anathema smirked and winked.

“I…. well. I really, uh… am not looking for ... did you just flirt for them?”

“Maybe. Are you interested?”

“I…” Aziraphale then caught sight of a clock, “am late for class! Oh, I’ll see you later, darling.” And they hurriedly rushed out.  
.  
It was only moments later when Crowley sauntered in and plopped down on a window sill next to Anathema. 

“Hello, dummy.” She greeted and Crowley smiled proudly.

“Just saw my roommate sprinting out of here. Did you act like a true friend and scare them off for me?”

“Your roommate?”

“Sure, little chubby one with… eahh amazingly white hair. Coincidentally English.”

“Aziraphale?”

“Yeah… Know them?” Crowley was squirming about, leaning, and gesturing as Crowley usually does. Anathema stared at the book she was about to put away misheviously.

“No. They’ve been here a few times checking out books but I don’t really know them.”

“Ughh, of course they have. Should’ve asked you to keep an eye out.”

“Yeah, you really should have. They’re cute.” Crowley went still. And looked pointedly at Anathema.

“What.”

“Oh, yeah. I would even go as far as hot. Even hotter than my coworker I told you about. The fashionable librarian look really works for them.” Crowley’s face had gone from shocked to flustered.

“I… I don’t know what you’re eeuhhhtthftheyre. they 're not why would you… even think.. th.. say that?” Anathema was using every ounce of strength she had to hold back a laugh.

“Yeah, I think they already dig somebody though. Checked out a book called uh… ‘Wooing and Seducing’.” It became very silent. Anathema was trying harder than she ever had before not to laugh, because she foolishly looked over to Crowley who’s face was a mix of hopeful, embarrassed, confused, shocked, and all together it just looked completely idiotic, all focused on a spot on the floor. Had he not been so distracted, he easily would have noticed Anathema was up to something. After a moment longer, still looking at the floor, Crowley spoke up.

“Did they… mention… who.. you know-“

“No, I'm afraid not.” She took a breath to keep her composure. “Not that you care, right? Maybe hooking up will keep them out of your hair more.”

“Hooking up?” His voice was so high and strained, Anathema couldn’t help turning and covering her laugh with a cough even though he was looking straight at her. “Yeah, cool. That’s cool, you’re right. Shall we go?”

Instead of heading straight for their dorm as they usually do after dropping Anathema off, Crowley drove off leaving Anathema a bit disappointed they couldn’t have their usual elevator chat. She doesn’t dwell on it long, though.

When she gets up to her dorm, Anathema finds the room empty, very much to her disappointment. And a little bit to her relief. She immediately went on her phone to distract from her feelings (and homework), and saw a few messages from Aziraphale. They were nothing of substance, just mentioning birds they saw and (bad) jokes they thought of. Anathema laughed. Then Anathema laughed harder.

“Just met your roommate at the library… I think he liiiiikes you” She sends the text off with another round of giggles.  
She has to wait a long time before a call finally comes in. Aziraphale wastes no time getting to the point.

“My dear girl, you must be mistaken. There is no way that they… they could see me that- that way. The way that you have just described to me and I, well, frankly I, for onem, don’t-“ There was a noise at Aziraphale’s door “I have to go to night! Goodbed.” And with that they hung up. Crowley? Liking them? The thought, as impossible as it was, twisted in their guts and left Aziraphale feeling queasy, but with no time to think. Anathema just chuckled and went back on Instagram.

Crowley entered the room and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Aziraphale. Aziraphale, had they any tracks, would’ve done the same. They stared at each other like two deer stuck in headlights. This goes on one second longer than the threshold for being weird. And one more second before Aziraphale speaks up,

“Any classes tomorrow?” Their voice is scratchy and strained. Their heart is beating so fast it’s humming. 

“Yup… Beekeeping for urban house wives.” His voice is too high. He’s standing uncharacteristically still. “So, do you fancy anyone?” Voice still high, sounding stranger than before. The question shot came out, he didn't even realize it had been said until it was too late. He began moving toward his bed so Aziraphale wouldn’t see the face on his face.

“I… absolutely .. not. what.. why.. What… why do you ask?”

“Oh,” Her voice then dropped very low and gravelly and obviously embarrassed, “just. you seem a bit….. anyway, I have to uh.. take a shower. So. Yeah. Oh, I brought you this.” He tossed a small bag of tea towards Aziraphale and then rushed into the bathroom. EVerything was moving too fast. He was still catching up on the conversation he had just had and every second was like a dagger to his heart.

While Crowley turned on the water and starred in the mirror instead of actually getting in, Aziraphale examined the gift. A gift. From Crowley. For them. Aziraphale really began to feel the butterflies then. They ignore it.

Starring in the mirror never helps situations. This is true even for Crowley, who had begun freaking out and moving about wildly and silently in the room. Well, she thinks it’s silent. But Aziraphale can hear his shoes tapping around. They started to look at the tea again and blushed. Crowley had bought this tea, for them. They make two cups, one with sugar and cream, and one completely bitter. As they sniffed the cooling beverage, they began to remember a conversation with Crowley from about a week ago. Aziraphale had explicitly mentioned this tea, but it had only been a passing remark. An offhand comment, really. And Crowley had remembered. The butterflies doubled in number and force. Aziraphale’s heart was beating in a passionate frenzy. Their eyes widened as the thought snuck by. Oh.

A few minutes later, or perhaps an eternity, Aziraphale couldn’t say, Crowley stepped out of the bathroom completely dry and wearing the same clothes and hairstyle.

“How was your shower?” Aziraphale was grinning very wide as they said it. Crowley was not looking and did not notice.

“What? Fine.” She picked up the mug of tea carefully, “Is this… for me.” and finally she looks over to Aziraphale. They wore a very expectant expression. Paired with the wide smile and eyes, it was extremely unsettling.

“Yes!” The word was drawn out and covered three octaves. “Of course it is, my dear! I know you like it bitter.” Crowley just stared at them. She tried to form a response but every thought turned back to my dear and the tea. Suddenly he found himself taking a sip while sitting down on the bed. They stare at each other. Crowley still looked like a rabbit who stumbled upon a den of foxes, and Aziraphale still looked like a prospector who was just offered scores of cheap land.

“Thank… you.” It sounds as normal as a slow drawn out thank you can. “Very... uhm... tasty.” Crowley feelt like a clock being wound up, or a dragon being thawed out. “I have to go.” and with that she sprinted out of the room. Nothing about the two conversations made sense to either of them.

\--

Anathema had been inspired by the whole situation, and surprised Anaise when she finally returned with a proclamation of adoration. You can easily imagine how Anathema’s smooth tongue, confidence, and beauty enticed her. So when Crowley began (quietly) rapping on the door, it was not at the best moment. Still, Anathema answered his knock, and he immediately strolled through the opened door post his friend and began pacing. After a few rounds, of internal debate, he settled on:

“You should set me up with your coworker.” 

“Hello to you to.” Apparently for the first time, Crowley looked at Anathema who stood wrapped in a sheet. 

“Oh.” He then looked over to the bed, where Anaise lay blushing beneath the blanket. “Ohh. Hello, again.” Then he sat on the other bed and went on.

“You should set me up with your coworker, the one you’ve mentioned.”

“Why?”

“I just uhh you know want to uh. What… what do you mean why?” Anathema looked at him. Really looked at him with exhaustion that only comes from true friendship.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with Aziraphale, would it?”

“What? of course not. don’t I don't like.. you are … where is that even coming from? No!” Another look. This time it was more pondering.

“Okay… Okay, sure. I can arrange a date. Now leave.” Crowley smiled and, with a final wink and thumb up at Anaise left.

“You got it.”

\--

That night was, as one would expect, extremely awkward. Crowley waited outside the door until he thought Aziraphale was asleep. Aziraphale has been pretending to sleep for 15 minutes. You can connect the dots from there. 

\--

Aziraphale and Anathema sat over their lunches, each wearing a ‘secretly’ smug look. They had been laughing and chatting for some time now.

“Would you like to be set up with my friend?” The question came completely out of the blue and caught Aziraphale off guard.

“What? No. I mean, maybe… it’s not as if there’s… I just think… I mean uh… No.”

“Well if there’s someone else you’re interested in, of course I-”

“What? No! No, of course there’s no one. I suppose… it’d be okay if you-“

“Great! How’s tonight at seven?”

“Oh uhm. I guess I’m free.” Anathema smiles and texts Crowley ‘ur on for tonite! frnch place @ 7’ And perhaps she was feeling a bit cocky, but Anathema couldn’t help asking,

“So, how’s your roommate?” At which Aziraphale immediately starts blushing and fiddling about.

“Oh, fine I expect. They bought me some tea.” Aziraphale wears a faint smile as they say it.

“Really… Wouldn’t expect her to be so sincere.” She knows she’s smirking, but she also knows Aziraphale will think she’s just up to her usual teasing.

“Oh, well, I may have uhm exaggerated the.. extent of his sour attitude.”

“Seems like I was right about him liking you, then.” Aziraphale blushed a bit harder, and looked up with a new sense of intrigue.

“Right. What exactly did they say to lead you to that conclusion.” Anathema couldn’t help snorting at them before she answered.

“Oh, you know… something like, ‘What kind of books would a page assistant who majors in english and religion find to be… uh… seductive.’”Aziraphale’s blush spread up to their ears and down their neck as their eyes widened.

“Well! I never…” Their stomach dipped and dived and they immediately attempted to change the subject.

\--

Crowley and Aziraphale were both in their room, both rushing to get ready, and both avoiding the other. It was 6:40, so both were running a bit late. Crowley finally worked up the nerve to speak.

“Going somewhere special?” She asked as she looped a belt through her dress pants. Aziraphale looked up from straightening their bow tie.

“Oh, yes. I actually have a uhm a date.” They ignore the pang of guilt they feel.

“Oh, that’s great.” Crowley's voice is low and gravely through gritted teeth as he says it. He double checks that his sheer top looks good tucked in before he grabs a jacket from his bed. “Yeah. Really cool.”

“What about you? Some sort of fancy dance class?” There’s a strained humor in their voice.

“The same. Got a… date. Bloke’s supposed to be a real catch.” And Aziraphale, with the most ready to kill smile, nods while turning back to fix their bomber’s collar. The two continue to get ready, Aziraphale finishing first. They’re about to leave when they look at Crowley and say,

“Well, I hope it works out for you. And me, I suppose. Uhm.. bye, then.” and they walk out the door. Crowley frowns at the empty room and finishes up styling his hair before rushing to his car. He calls Anathema the minute he hits the road.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at a date? It’s six.”

“Running a bit late. Anyway, can you believe… they have a date. On on the euh the exact same night as me. At the exact same time. The bloody nerve…”  
Anathema, laughing as she does, replies with a cheeky, “I’m sure you’ll find your OWN date to be just as pleasant- oh, I’ve gotta go I’m getting another call.” Crowley just growls and continues driving. 

“He has a date the exact same night as me, Anathema! He said his date was ‘a real catch.’ I-“

“Aziraphale, maybe you should worry more about your own date than,” she pauses to hold in a laugh, “than Crowley’s.”

“Yes. Yes, of course you’re right. Thank you for setting this up, darling, I- oh I’ve just arrived talk. to you later!”

“Bye-bye.” Anathema, after hanging up, laughed for the better part of two minutes.

\--

Had they been anybody else, the amount of risks Anathema took just to be a cheeky bastard during this whole thing would’ve tipped them off to the whole thing. But as Aziraphale asked to be seated under to reservation “Mr. Oblive Eous,” they didn’t suspect a thing. Neither did Crowley as she did the same. Neither of them thought it more than a coincidence when they made eye contact as the waiter walked Crowley to the table. They were still unaware that they had been set up when the waiter stopped at Aziraphale’s table and handed Crowley a menu while pulling out a chair.

“There must be a mistake…”

“Are you not both seated under the reservation for Mr. Oblive Eous?”

“I am..” and with that the waiter smiled as she started to rush off to another table. Crowley looked at Crowley sheepishly before sitting down and scooching in. He sits there confused for a moment before he shocks Aziraphale and a few nearby patrons with his exclamation of,

“BLOODY anathema!”

“You’re… Anathema’s friend?”

“And you’re her coworker.” They consider this and each other for a moment before speaking at the same time.

“Well, it'd be a shame to waste a reservation…”

“We might as well eat…” They stared at each other again before bursting out laughing.  
The date had been going fantastic. They had been laughing and talking for over an hour and were now moving on to desert. They settled on sharing a yule log, which had just arrived, and, still red faced from laughing, stopped conversation to try it. After a few minutes, Crowley stopped eating and gazed at Aziraphale somewhat sadly

“So who is it that you fancy?” The look was replaced with his usual removed and humored expression.

“Sorry?”

“Anathema told me that my ‘roommate’ fancied someone. Something about you checking out a romance help book.” Crowley forced himself to keep taking bites to try and seem like he didn’t care about the conversation.

“I… I would never defile my library account with a… a hack book for incels!” Crowley gasped and choked on his cake. He manages to get a raspy “oh.” out during his half coughing half laughing spree. He settles down and starts sipping his menthe.

“Anathema told me that my roommate fancied me.” Crowley chokes again on his drink. It takes him longer this time to recover, and with the absence of laughing Aziraphale starts to look worried.

“I- I have no idea what she uh she could be or that she uh was you know.. talking about! that’s just… really… not that you’re not… ehhhuhhh you know...” Aziraphale does not know, and begins to look very dejected. Crowley misreads this as distaste of Crowley.

“Oh, I see. She’s been rather cruel, hasn’t she?”

“Uncharacteristically so. I’ve known her since high school and she never…” Aziraphale’s face has morphed into one of indignation.

“Oh well that explains it! You can quit the act because I’ve just figured it out! You both set me up, didn’t you? Played this whole stupid game just to get a laugh! I can’t believe I was so GULLIBLE as to… to…” Crowley begins to panic, his face dripping with worry and his eyes wounded. 

“No! No, not at all! I had no idea, I-“ 

“Oh, you can button it!” Their voice had by now climbed to a quiet yell. “I should’ve known you would do something like this! It’s written all over you!”  
By now other diners have started to look over out of anger, or curiosity, or even, perhaps, concern. One of them shushed Aziraphale, who looked at her angrily. Crowley was, by now, feeling very irritated.

“Oh, like you’re such an angel! I’ll have you know I had absolutely nothing to do with this despite what’s written all over me. The last thing I would want to do is hurt you!” She has worked herself up so much and had spoken so passionately the last sentence just slipped out. She snapped her mouth closed as her eyes grew wide. The moment seems to further aggravate Aziraphale.

“This date is over unless you can tell me right now why you… what you even mean.” Aziraphale’s face is all hurt and confusion now and it kills Crowley to see. 

“I just… I mean I would never construct this.. this ruse.. and I would never I don’t know do it to- to hurt. you.”

“Why?” 

“Because… because i i uhhhidmth there’s just- i just…”

“Why would you buy me tea and all these other things just to… why, if not to hurt me?” Aziraphale truly looked helpless now, and Crowley didn’t look much different.

“Because you like it! Because it’s kind, I don’t know! It didn’t mean anything-“

“Well, no offense, but you’re not the first person I would expect kind gestures from. What about that time you called my professor about me being late. What am I supposed to make of that?”

“It was my fault you were late! Is it illegal now to do something just, you know, out of fairness?”

“Oh, please.”

“Ohhhh, like you’re one to talk! You think I wouldn’t notice the little candies and shit you leave for me everywhere? Do I just assume the magical dorm fairy left them for me? Am I not meant to return a… a favor?”

“I didn’t leave those so you would ‘owe me one’ I left them to… to spread joy! That’s not a crime.” They considered each other, breathe heaving, faces flushed with anger. Crowley let out a long breath and looked down at his plate. He speaks the next words slowly, as if they’re fragile as glass.

“I didn’t do this to hurt you. I didn’t do it all.” His voice is shaky but he holds it together. Aziraphale looks at her and something in them knows.

“I believe you.” Crowley glanced up at Aziraphale solemnly before standing and reaching for his jacket.

“Wait, don’t go. We… haven’t finished dessert.” They force a smile smile but their eyes are anxiously pleading for her to sit back down.

“I can’t. It’s too much, Aziraphale, I’m sorry.” And she turns to leave.

“Crowley! Sit down this instant.” Crowley turns and, seeing the look in Aziraphale, sits back down. “If you don’t tell me what that even means this instant I will… be very cross.” At that Crowley smiles slightly. His expression could be described as nothing other than yearning.

“Just say it, Crowley. I already know.” 

“I can’t.” Their voice breaks.

“Fine. Then I will.” They pause. “Crowley. You… are absolutely and completely head over heels for me.” Aziraphale honestly smiles as they say it, looking at Crowley fondly. Crowley, though, is looking away ashamed and embarrassed. Then Aziraphale swallows hard and takes in a deep breath. “And it just so happens that I may feel the same way as you do. For me.” Crowley looks up with a flash in his eyes.

“What?”

“You are deceptively, secretly nice and caring. You’re a… truly free spirit, you make me want to… to escape. With you. And live.. unabashedly. Not to mention the… lanky snakey attractiveness you exude.” Aziraphale blushed and looked away. “Yes, Crowley, you.. you stole my heart. I really wish that you’d return it, you know, it’s hard to focus on… work or studying without it.” Aziraphale chuckled. Crowley looked at them with such exuberant joy Aziraphale almost had to shield their eyes from the brightness of it.

“You… bastard. Keeping me in the dark. You… thoughtful, generous, foolish, LOVELY bastard!” Crowley’s was full of so much emotion his voice decided to dump all of it and sound distant. Then he started laughing. Harder and harder, until he could barely stay sitting up. Aziraphale was slowly roped into the mania. Crowley stood and pulled Aziraphale up with him. They hugged and they spun and they kissed. Everyone around them was forgotten as they embraced. Everyone and everything was forgotten until a very embarrassed looking waiter interrupted them and held out a check. 

\--

They both laid on the roof of Crowley’s car. They laid and and they looked at the stars. The air had a sting to it, and clouds were beginning to encroach their sparkling view. Their hands intertwined, their minds dancing together in conversation. They laid and snow began to float around them. Crowley moved closer towards Aziraphale, until he was comfortably pressed against them and felt more of their warmth than the snow’s chill. They laid and were silent. They laid and were happy.


End file.
